Just Breathe

I have been in my new position at the church for nine months.

Actually, we are rolling into month ten now.

In those nine months, I have attended staff meetings, leadership calls, meetings with my pastor, First Sundays, every Wednesday night, office-mode Wednesday days, special events, planning meetings, youth meetings, parent meetings, and probably meetings about meetings.

And somehow, through all of that, I have never noticed that some of these meetings apparently have an actual pattern.

My pastor mentioned recently that one meeting falls on a certain Wednesday of the month and another falls on another Wednesday.

And I just looked at him like…

Since when? 😂

Apparently, since always.

I have just never picked up on it.

For nine months, those meetings have lived somewhere on my radar. I knew they existed. I knew they would eventually happen. I knew someone would text, call, email, or say, “Hey, don’t forget…” And then I would show up.

But I had never actually put them into my routine.

So this week, in month ten, I finally emailed the secretary and basically said:

Can you please tell me what the actual schedule is? Do we always meet on the first Wednesday? The third Wednesday? At a certain time? In having to ask, I realized something. I had been living “on call” for something that could have simply been scheduled. And as soon as I thought it, the phrase landed in my mind:

I need this in my routine, not just on my radar.

And that is a whole thing.... Like a quote that I will never forget. Because my life is full of routines.

Monday night is Scouts.

Tuesday and Thursday, part of the crew is at wrestling, and one is at drum practice.

Wednesday is church.

First Sundays are also church, but in a different way.

There are school schedules and pickups and practices and farm chores and youth activities and all the things that happen every week, whether I feel ready for them or not...

But those things do not feel like interruptions. They are just life. They are already built in. I know they are coming. I know where they belong. I know what needs to happen around them.

Years ago, we went on vacation and left my mother in charge of our weekly schedule.

I gave her the whole thing. All the places. All the times. All the kids. All the moving pieces. And I basically told her, “If they are alive when I get home, that is all I need. I know they will be happy if they are with you.”

And then I left the schedule anyway. She did the best she could. She got them where she could. She did not worry much about what she could not. And they ate a lot of McDonald’s that week.

They survived. 😂

But she did more than just keep my children on her radar. She stepped into my routine. She took over the rhythm that I normally carry. And that is different.

Because things on our radar require attention every time they appear.

Things in our routine already have a protected place.

Sometimes what makes me feel most busy is not necessarily how much I am doing, but how much feels like an interruption to the normal routine ....  How many things I am left having to anticipate. 

Waiting.

Watching.

Trying not to forget.

Keeping fifteen things floating somewhere in my brain because none of them have been given an actual place to land.

That feels exhausting.

And yet, here is the irony. 

I like being busy.

I like a full life.

I like creating.

I like brainstorming.

I like ministry.

I like family activities.

I like projects.

I like having something to look forward to.

I like working against a deadline.

But I also like downtime.

I like coloring.

I like sitting on the porch.

I like vegging out with my kids.

I even like a little doomscrolling when I probably should not. 😂

I like having room to breathe.

And yet, the second I actually get some?

My brain apparently says:

OH NO. THERE IS ROOM TO BREATHE. QUICK. FILL IT.

I finish something big and immediately feel good and suddenly, I have twelve new ideas.

A new project. A new product. A new lesson. A new thing to organize. A new thing to create.

A new way to use the space I just worked so hard to make. And I have started wondering whether maybe I am very good at making margin…

And very bad at leaving it there.

Scripture has plenty to say about being faithful with our time.

We are told to stay awake and alert.

“So then, let us not be like others, who are asleep, but let us be awake and sober.”
— 1 Thessalonians 5:6

We are told to make wise use of our days.

“Be very careful, then, how you live — not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity…”

— Ephesians 5:15–16

We are told not to live irresponsibly or in idleness.

Paul even says:

“Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life: You should mind your own business and work with your hands…”
— 1 Thessalonians 4:11

And I love that verse because somehow Scripture manages to put work and quiet in the same sentence.

Lead a quiet life..... Work with your hands.

Maybe those things were never supposed to compete. Maybe productive and peaceful are not opposites. Maybe faithful does not mean frantic.

Jesus certainly had work to do. People needed Him constantly. Crowds followed Him. The sick needed healing. The disciples needed teaching. There was always another person.

Another village.

Another need.

Another question.

And still, Scripture repeatedly shows Jesus stepping away.

Luke says:
“Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed.”
— Luke 5:16

Often.

Not once because He had completely burned Himself out. It was part of His rhythm... Built into his routine.

Mark tells us that after a busy season of ministry, Jesus told the disciples:
“Come with Me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest.
— Mark 6:31

And then there is one of my favorite pictures of Jesus.

A storm is raging.

The disciples are panicking.

The boat is filling with water.

And Jesus?

He is asleep.... During the storm!!!

"Jesus was in the stern, sleeping on a cushion.”
— Mark 4:38

If anybody had ever earned the right to say, “There is too much going on for me to rest,” it was Jesus. And yet He slept. Rest was not laziness. It was not neglect. It was not wasted time. It was a necessary part of his ministry.

That challenges me.

Because I think sometimes I have assumed that an empty place in my calendar is asking to be filled.

Maybe sometimes it is simply asking to remain empty. Maybe margin is not unfinished scheduling. Maybe it is part of the schedule.

Psalm 127:2 says:
"In vain you rise early and stay up late, toiling for food to eat — for He grants sleep to those He loves.”

There is something almost humorous about God having to remind people:

You can go to bed. I am still God while you are sleeping. And maybe I am the one that needs that reminder. There will always be more to do. There will always be another idea. There will always be another email.

Another project.

Another event.

Another person.

Another thing that could technically fit into that open hour.

But just because something can fit does not mean it belongs there. 

And some things need to move from on the radar to in the routine.... 

Prayer.

Scripture.

Rest.

Time with the people I love.

Time alone.

Creative space that does not have to produce anything.

Maybe even nothing.

Some things need to come off the radar altogether.... 

I do not need to constantly anticipate every possible need.

I do not need to stand ready for every interruption.

I do not need to fill every blank space in order to feel productive.

Readiness and restlessness are different. There is a difference between being faithfully busy and being constantly occupied. There is a difference between having something on my radar and intentionally building my routine around what matters most.

Sometimes the thing that keeps feeling last-minute is not actually unpredictable. I just never built it into my routine. And sometimes the thing that feels like an empty spot is not actually waiting for an assignment.

It is rest.

I want prayer in my routine, not just on my radar when life gets hard.

I want Scripture in my routine, not just on my radar when I need an answer.

I want the people I love in my routine, not just on my radar when something is wrong.

I need rest and downtime there too. Not something I squeeze in after everything else is finally done. Because everything else is never finally done. Rather, it needs to be treated as something that belongs. Something expected. Something protected.

There will always be things on the radar. Life does not become perfectly predictable just because I own a calendar.

But perhaps the things that matter most should not have to fight for my attention every time they come around. Some things deserve a place in the routine.

And sometimes when God gives me room to breathe… Maybe the most faithful thing I can do is just breathe.

What keeps showing up on your radar that might need a permanent place in your routine — and where might God be asking you to stop filling every open space?

Lord, teach me to use my time wisely without believing that every moment has to be filled. Show me what belongs in the rhythm of my life and what I can release. Help me work faithfully, stay ready, and remain attentive to You, but also teach me to receive rest without guilt. Give me wisdom to recognize when an open space is not a problem to solve, but a gift from You. Amen.

Until next time, keep following the Plott, and I will be praying for us all. 💛