Don't Forget the Soap

We had a lovely vacation week at my parents’ beach house on Folly Beach.

It is our favorite beach, our familiar place, and one of those gifts I never want to take for granted.

But as all good vacations do, this one had to come to an end.

Because part of getting to use the house is leaving it ready for the next guest, the final day of vacation always looks a little less like beach chairs and ocean breezes and a little more like laundry, sweeping sand, wiping counters, and wondering how one family used that many towels. I love the reset of the beach house as much as the respite it brings while we are there.  

I had an event to attend, and I left my kids in charge of starting the first few loads of laundry. When I came back a couple of hours later, I realized they had, in fact, run the laundry. 

The washer had filled.

The clothes had spun.

The cycle had finished.

I was so pleased to see the accomplished task. 

There was just one small problem.

They had not used soap.

At home, we have one of those fancy washing machines that auto-dispenses detergent. You put the clothes in, push the button, and the machine takes care of the rest.

Apparently, it had never occurred to me that my children did not actually know they had to add detergent to a regular washing machine. In the frustration of the do over, they felt this was my fault for not telling them. Which, honestly, is fair. 

But also… children. 😂

Because they had done the motions.

They had loaded the washer, shut the lid, pushed start and heard the machine run.

From the outside, it looked like the laundry had been done.

But without soap, the clothes had just been wet and spun around.

I kept thinking this lesson can't just be about tide pods.

Because isn’t that how life can be sometimes?

We can know the routine.

We can push the right buttons.

We can say the right words.

We can look like the cycle is running exactly as it should.

But if the thing that actually cleanses is missing, we may just be spinning around in circles.

This lesson hit a little deeper this week because there was another situation unfolding alongside the laundry.

One of our boys, who is an amazing kid, found himself tangled up in some poor choices.

I want to be careful here because not every story that teaches me belongs fully to me. I am still a mama, and I do not believe in airing my children’s dirty laundry for the sake of making a point.

But I can say this: It is possible to be a good kid and still need correction. It is possible to love Jesus and still need boundaries. It is possible to raise your hands in worship, read your Bible, pray at night, attend youth group, know the right answers, and still have another set of choices happening in the background that needs to be brought into the light.

And by God’s mercy, they were.

Not to shame him.

Not to crush him.

But to help us back up, look closer, and realize we needed to add more than routine. We needed more substance, instruction, accountability, boundaries, and discipleship. 

Because faith cannot only be something that looks right from the outside. It has to reach the places no one else sees.

That is true for all of us. Not just kids and teenagers. Not just the ones who get caught. All of us.

We can go to church and still need our hearts checked. We can pray beautiful words and still need our choices examined. We can know Scripture and still need to practice how to obey it. We can raise our hands in worship and still need to surrender what we are holding onto when the music stops.

Faith is not just talking the talk. It is walking the walk. This week's teaching for the youth touched on Micah 6:8:

“He has shown you, O mortal, what is good.

And what does the Lord require of you?

To act justly and to love mercy

and to walk humbly with your God.”

Act justly.

Love mercy.

Walk humbly.

That is not just a verse to memorize;

it is a faith to live.

Acting justly means we do what is right, even when no one is watching.

Loving mercy means we remember that correction does not have to come without compassion.

Walking humbly means we admit that none of us are above needing a reset.

Not my teenager.

Not his mama.

Not any of us.

Because we have all run cycles with no soap at some point. We have all gone through motions that looked right on the outside while something underneath still needed attention. We have all had moments where God, in His mercy, revealed what was hidden — not to humiliate us, but to heal us.

This is hard to remember when you are going through the healing .... Exposure can feel like punishment when it first happens.

But sometimes exposure is protection.

Sometimes God allows something to come into the light before it grows roots in the dark. He lets us see what is really happening so we can stop pretending the laundry is clean just because the cycle finished.

Scripture says:

"If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.”

— 1 John 1:9

There it is again.

Purify.

Cleanse.

Not just cover it up.

Not just make it smell better.

Not just fold it nicely and hope no one notices.

Actually clean.

That is what Jesus does.

And that is what I want for my children.

Not perfect behavior that fools everyone or faith that looks good from a distance. Not a life that knows how to press the right buttons but misses the substance. 

I want them to know the One who cleanses. I want them to understand that conviction is not rejection. Correction is not the end of love. Boundaries are not punishment when they are built to protect. And mercy is not pretending nothing happened. Mercy is meeting the truth with love and helping someone walk forward clean.

That is what God does for us. He does not look at our sin and say, “Well, at least you ran the cycle.” He lovingly brings us back to where we went astray and reminds of what actually matters. He washes us. He restores us and He teaches us how to walk differently.

Sometimes that means we have to start the load over.... A reset or do over. 

Which, apparently, is also true at the beach house. Those towels still had to be washed again.... The first cycle doesn't disappear ...but with soap this time, the outcome will be different.

It may be one of the simplest pictures of mercy and grace I have had in a while.

One with no shame, no panic. And not throwing the towels away because they did not get clean the first time. Just a simple lesson of start again, add what was missing. Let the cleansing actually happen. Then keep going.

Learning to apply this to more than laundry.... That is parenting.  That is discipleship. That is faith. 

A rewash.

A reset.

A reminder that going through the motions is not the same as being made clean.

So yes, my kids learned that regular washing machines need detergent and I was reminded that the next generation does not always know what we assume they know. Not about laundry. Not about life. Not about faith.

We have to teach them. We have to explain the why. We have to model the walk, not just the words. And we have to be humble enough to admit that in many cases, we have made the same mistakes and needed the same lessons too.

The goal is not just finished laundry. The goal is clean laundry. The goal is not just a faith that looks active. The goal is a life washed, changed, and walking with God.

Where in your life have you been going through the motions, and what might God be asking you to add, surrender, or restart so real cleansing and growth can happen?

Lord, thank You for loving us enough to bring hidden things into the light. Help us not settle for going through the motions when You are inviting us into real transformation. Teach us to act justly, love mercy, and walk humbly with You. Give us wisdom to correct with compassion, receive correction with humility, and start again when we need a reset. Amen.

Until next time, keep following the Plott, and I will be praying for us all. 💛