Rules I Didn't Know I Needed to Make

Life with boys has a way of keeping you humble, laughing, and sometimes wondering if common sense got left out of the DNA strand. They will find a way to turn even the best-laid plans upside down. Give them a ball, and somehow it becomes a weapon. Hand them shaving cream, and it becomes hair dye. Give them water balloons, and… well, let’s just say this story has a splash of horror in it.

Years ago, during a youth group summer rivalry, we were having the time of our lives with shaving cream fights and water balloon battles. Everyone was laughing, squealing, and having the kind of fun kids remember for decades. It was the kind of fun that makes you feel like you’re doing youth ministry right.

That is… until we discovered a new “rule” that apparently needed to be made.

Late that evening, our brave counselor had to stand in front of a room full of teens and say words I am sure he never imagined stringing together:

“I didn’t know I needed to make this rule… but from here on out, there will be absolutely no peeing in the water balloons.”

The room erupted in laughter, but he was dead serious. Because sometimes what you think is obvious… isn’t obvious at all.

That story became a cornerstone for me—not just in pursuing my calling to youth ministry but also in parenting boys. Because here’s the truth:

  • You cannot possibly make a rule about every ridiculous thing they’ll try.
  • You cannot anticipate every creative (and gross) spin their minds will come up with.
  • But you can teach them the deeper values behind the rules: basic decency, respect for others, and self-control.

It’s not about having a laminated list of 1,000 rules on the fridge. It’s about training their hearts to choose what is right— even when the situation is brand new. It's teaching them to hear their inner voice -- their conscience -- and discipling that inner voice to be led by the Holy Spirit. 

Scripture teaches us:

“Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.” – 1 Peter 4:8

That verse is a lifeline for parents. Because when you can’t predict every mess, prank, or catastrophe, you can teach love. Love keeps boys from turning fun into cruelty. Love teaches them to respect boundaries. Love covers the moments when they make you say things like, “No, you cannot lick the horse's salt block,” or “Why are there socks in the freezer?”

Parenting (and youth ministry) is a steady rhythm of correction, redirection, and choosing laughter over exasperation. Because let’s be honest: if it isn’t peeing in water balloons, it’s something else. And that’s okay. You don’t need to predict every crazy move—they’ll always surprise you. What matters is that you stay steady in your calling and trust God to cover the gaps. Rules will always evolve. But the heart behind them—love, respect, and treating others the way you want to be treated—remains the same. 

So the next time you find yourself saying something you never thought you’d have to say—take heart. You’re not failing. You’re raising, guiding, and discipling real kids in a real world. And God is with you in both the ridiculous and the holy.

Until next time, keep following the Plott, and I will be praying for us all.

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